Neil Dudley: The Cowboy Perspective, well, it might be hard to define, but I guarantee if you think about it, you’ve got one in mind. Whether you’re building a legacy, an empire, or a fan base, I bet when your friends look at you, they see some cowboy in your face. Y’all come along, let’s talk about this or that. Maybe when we’re done, you’ll go away with another perspective to put under your hat.
Hey everybody, it’s the big 5-O, 50th episode for the Cowboy Perspective and our guest is just perfect for that. His name is Jake Escobar. He is the new athletic director at Comanche ISD. And a little backstory is Jake used to be my hero when I was a little eighth grader, freshmen, he and his age of guys were quite successful. They’re all good athletes. Jake was a great point guard. I looked up to him at basketball, football, all kinds of things. He did the stuff that I thought was cool. And now it’s really fun to come full circle, see him after he’s gone, see him or be working with him. I sit on the school board, so I feel like we work together, not directly, but I’m certainly interested in what Jake’s doing. He’s doing such a great job. He’s got kids coming out for sports, working out throughout the summer that wouldn’t maybe have otherwise. So that’s exciting for me. I look it forward to you all getting to hear some of his perspective. If you have been coached by Jake, if you’re a parent of somebody that’s been coached by Jake, if you’re a kid that’s in Jake’s program today, if you’re a parent of a kiddo that’s in the athletic program at Comanche, I think all this insight is going to be very valuable for you and gives you a good base understanding of Coach Escobar. So, let’s get to it. I hope you all enjoy it. Here we go.
Welcome to the Cowboy Perspective. This is another episode I’m excited to talk to a guy. Well, his name’s Jake Escobar. And when I was about maybe seventh or eighth grade, this guy was a hero in Comanche, Texas, because him and a bunch of his classmates were going to the regional tournament in basketball, having all kinds of success on the athletic fields, and as a kid, that was huge to me. Now he’s come back to town to be the AD of our school district, and I just thought, man, I look up to this guy. The Cowboy Perspective is all about getting perspectives on life and sharing that with my audience and anybody that could be interested. I think Jake’s got a lot of interesting perspectives and we’re going to explore those. Welcome to the show, Jake. First thing’s first, tell everybody a little bit about who you are, where you come from, and then we’ll dive into some other questions about maybe your philosophies or your perspectives on lots of stuff.
Jake Escobar: Thanks, Neil, thanks for having me. It doesn’t seem that long ago when you were a seventh grader, but I know it’s been a while. It’s been a while since I’ve been here, back home. I do know this, I might’ve been your hero, but I had a lot of other heroes as well growing up here in Comanche. And I had a lot of great teammates and they’re the ones that helped me become who I am as well, as well as the community in Comanche and teachers and coaches. Growing up here, it was a very unique situation for me because my parents were divorced, and I was raised by my grandparents from the age of nine. So, the community, teachers and coaches played a big part of who I am. And I wasn’t always the best student, but I had teachers that made sure I was a better student than what I was, and community members were the same way. They played a big part of who I am today. And so, when I was going to school here, I was very fortunate to play with some great guys and have some great coaches, and you and I have talked about-
Neil Dudley: Who are they? Who are those guys? Let’s just mention them. Like, if I was talking about them, I was thinking, Matt Willis, Whitley, Jolly, Mark Feist. Was that the team?
Jake Escobar: Todd Swearengin.
Neil Dudley: Todd Swearengin, oh yeah, he’s a coach somewhere now.
Jake Escobar: He’s a coach at Hico.
Neil Dudley: Well, hey, shout out to all those guys. They were my heroes, too, really. I mean, and then the year before that’s like Brandon Thedford, there were guys that I just remember. I think it’s important for anybody listening to understand you don’t know who’s looking up to you. This many years down the road, I bet you could ask those guys, do you think Neil Dudley looked up to you in high school? Who’s that guy even? They wouldn’t even know who I was, but I remember, I mean, I was this- 30 years ago, I’m remembering you guys in a way that just makes me think, man, I can remember your name. I remember the people on the team. So, everybody think about that. People are looking up to you all the time, whether you know it or not, and you’re affecting their lives. I promise I worked harder at sports because I wanted to be like y’all. Outside of having good parents that pushed me and wanted me to do good, I was looking up to those guys. So, kids, if you’re a senior now, just think you are driving the next generation of Comanche athletics by the way you show up. And I think you’re doing a good job of that, Coach Escobar, and putting that out there that, hey, we do this thing a certain way every day.
Jake Escobar: That’s right. Everything matters is what we say in our program. So how we do anything is how we do everything. And whether it’s make our bed in the morning, whether it’s take the trash out for our parents. I talked to the kids about that the other day, about Mother’s Day, you better wash the dishes for them, you better be taking out the trash, clean your room. I think those are things that are important that don’t have anything to do with being a great football player, basketball player, but it has a lot to do with who you are. And I think that’s the most important thing that we get from athletics and being coaches and trying to instill that in our kids. Like you said, those guys, you don’t think about it as a student athlete, the kids that look up to you. And I get it. I was a kid and I tell kids all the time, I didn’t even think about that, which kids were looking up to me. And I wish, I probably would’ve done things a little bit different, and we all make choices in this world. And the older you get, sometimes you’re going to make some bad choices, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s just you hope you learn from those choices, and you have people in your life like the coaches and teachers and community members that helped me out. Kenneth Harvick is one that comes to mind. He gave me a job out of college or when I was in college and I quit my first semester, and he told me, he said if you don’t go back to school, I’m not going to give you a job. And that was a life changing moment.
Neil Dudley: That one little, just how many times you kind of hit those moments in life. And I think there’s going to be a lot of kids listening to this because they’re going to hear, oh, Coach Escobar did this podcast, I’m going to listen to that. So, I kind of, I’m thinking about them a lot as we talk and I think, kiddos, like one choice. You don’t understand it. I wish I could give kids maturity. If I could just plug a USB into their side and just help them understand, like you don’t see it, but there’s so much there for you right now. I loved my high school career. I think a lot of people, there’s a good chance there are people right now in the program thinking I can’t wait to get out of Comanche and go to the big city, man embrace where you are today. Totally hug it up, love on it. Everything you can squeeze out of it, get it. Those people, you’re going to- I really am not in touch closely with maybe three or four of the people I graduated with. And I so value them, but I know I have a lot of fun thinking about that whole class and the things we did together.
Jake Escobar: And that’s one thing that I tell my wife all the time. I loved high school. I did, I loved my high school years. And you hear kids, well, I’m ready to get out of here. Well, I don’t know if I knew anything past my high school career at that time because it was so good to me. And when I was in junior high, I never got to play anything. I was on the team and Coach Pope, Billy Pope, I don’t know if you know Pope, he was our seventh-grade coach. And he put me on the line. I was offensive guard, and we talk about this all the time. He got me on the offensive line, and then, so I just played offensive line. I really didn’t play. I just kind of was on the team, and I wasn’t very good at that time. But he never discouraged me. He just, I mean, he was always just a great coach to be around. And then eighth grade, I didn’t play much either. And then, so I really got lucky. Somebody didn’t show up for practice, so I got put in the starting lineup in my eighth-grade year. And after that, I never lost that spot. But I would love to play. I would shoot every day. I mean, my dad put up a telephone pole and then put plywood and then we put a rim up there, and it was right off the road at Gore’s, right across the railroad tracks.
Neil Dudley: We almost went there to record this, and I thought, man, the train is going to be in the background. So, but that would have been a cool way to- this is where I first shot baskets in my career, right here.
Jake Escobar: And I remember people saying, driving by, they were workers and they said, man, all that kid does is shoot baskets, that’s all you do. But we had a good little neighborhood where we played different sports. When it was baseball season, we played baseball. When it was basketball, play basketball. When it was football, we played football. So, I was real fortunate to grow up in that time. And I was a straight basketball kid. I ran cross country and played basketball my freshman year until Coach Gideon and Coach West, I don’t know if you remember Daylen West. He got same haircut.
Neil Dudley: The thing I remember about Daylen is like the back of his head is flat. I mean, Daylen, like don’t come beat me up, but I remember that about him.
Jake Escobar: He was tough. I mean, he was just a mean- I mean, he was- but he was a great coach and he cared about us. And that’s the number one thing in every coach I’ve had, I think that’s the most important thing is they cared about us, and they pushed us and got the most out of us.
Neil Dudley: A kid has an inherit mechanism that knows, even if you’re tough on them, they almost know that means you care, like belittle them. You’re just tough on them. You are pushing to get something out of them. Kids can just sniff that out. Like it’s almost a sixth sense or something they have. So that’s one reason I don’t go into coaching because you are held to a standard by those kids that is, I mean, high. And you can never fail. You fail one time, man, you’re going to have to really own that failure, totally be vulnerable with them. Losing their trust is a bad, bad idea, I would think.
Jake Escobar: It is. And that’s what I told someone this morning, I try to be transparent as possible with our program. And I think that’s important not only for our kids, but for the parents of our kids, and the community. I think I have to gain their trust that I care about their kids, that I’m not worried about winning a state championship without caring about their young people. And I think that’s important. So, I try to be as transparent as possible, and it’s not always what people want to hear, but I’m upfront and I’m honest of how we do things. And we do demand the most out of them. And I was talking to Colton Roberts this morning, who was in the weight room this morning, and I told him, I said I realized when I left here, and I went and coached at different places that you can’t worry if kids like you or not. You got to hold them to a higher standard, and they got to understand that. And you got to demand the most out of them. They’re going to appreciate you when they leave and they get older.
Neil Dudley: It’s just like parenting. That’s right. I’m telling you, I want my kids to like me and love me, but I really don’t care. I’m going to parent them because it was true for me. I thought my parents were mean, but they just loved me hard.
Jake Escobar: Amen. And that’s exactly right. And I think that’s a fine line that we have to understand as coaches that we have to get to that point. And they’ll love us when they get out and they’ll be back to see us, that’s just the way it is. Jacob Marwitz, I coached Jacob Marwitz. And when I left here, Jacob Marwitz was going to be a senior, and we talked about this last night, and he told me it hurt him. Like it just killed him. And Jacob really didn’t talk to me for about 15 years just until-
Neil Dudley: Man, he held on to that.
Jake Escobar: I know, he held onto that grudge for a long time. And I sent him a message and told him I was proud of him because he became a head coach and what he’s done, what he’s accomplished. And he told me, he said it bothered me, but I eventually moved on and things like that. But I think that was a bond that we had, but he understood that I held him to a different level. And I always told him regardless of what happens, I’m going to be watching you and rooting for you. Regardless.
Neil Dudley: I think coaches live a certain special life. Like you got, I don’t even know how many kids, thousands of them. And like you love them like that. Man, it’s so, it’s just a huge calling. I think being a quality influence in kids’ lives is a big calling way outside of state championships, state champ- I was lucky enough to run on a track team that made it to state. That was cool. And that was fun. And man, I have a bond with those guys I’ll never- we could just get together right now and be close. So, to me, there’s so much value in sports. But that’s not the only thing. Why don’t we talk a little bit probably to the kids or even to the parents of what you think of academics and how that ties to sports in that, I’m guessing here, so you should really probably fill this in more than what I’m going to say is I think you value the academics as much as the sport, although that might be hard to see when the only things you’re posting are weight room stuff. So, tell us a little bit about your philosophy there, and kids y’all need to be listening because this is important.
Jake Escobar: Yes, sir. And that’s one regret I have as a student athlete. I wish I would have been a better student and I didn’t realize that until I got in college and started trying to have a career of what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be as an adult.
Neil Dudley: And you don’t know. Listen kids, you don’t know what you want to be or how you want to be. You think you do, and I love you for it, but you don’t.
Jake Escobar: I have a business degree. I thought I was going to be a business guy wearing a suit and a tie to work every day, working downtown New York. Now I’m in Comanche, America, trying to make a difference. So, and that’s the thing with us. Academics is very important. And when I became a head coach, well really when I was at Midland Lee, I was a recruiting coordinator. So, my job was to make sure our kids got recruited by everyone and anyone that wanted recruiting. And if our kids wanted to go play at the next level, whether it was division three and AI, division one, I had to make sure that their transcripts were being sent to these colleges. Well, I got to visit with the college coaches, and they start telling me, Coach, these guys, their GPA is not good enough, their ACT scores aren’t good enough, their SAT scores aren’t good enough. So, I started thinking about this. When I sat down with my boss, James Morton, who’s now at Eastland, we start talking about the importance of academics. So, he made me the academic coordinator and that’s when I kind of got more into the importance of academics. And there were kids that were great athletes in our programs that didn’t get to go to college because of their grades, or they went to a junior college, and not that junior college- there’s nothing wrong with that, but they had an opportunity to get their school paid for at a higher level and they didn’t because they didn’t concentrate on their grades. I became a better student when I went to college because I had to be.
Neil Dudley: Hey, you’re paying for it then. It’s not on the government. It’s not on the taxpayer. I almost want to tell the kids I’m mad at you if you don’t try in school because my money funds you going to school and everybody in this community’s money funds- we’re paying for you an opportunity, a chance to be what you want to be. I don’t even care what you end up being, I just want to see you work your tail off. That’s what my money’s for. That’s why I’m out earning a living so I can pay taxes so you can go to school free. When you go to college, it is not free unless you do something at a stellar level or people, somebody else is still willing to pay for your way. I didn’t do that, so I had to pay my way.
Jake Escobar: Yeah. There’s only 1% really that get that opportunity if you think about it. And there’s a stat out there, 1% of the athletic population gets a full scholarship to a D1 school. I became more aware of how important academics were. In college when I was a student, I would spend hours and hours in the library and I never thought I would do that, but I knew that I had to get to another level. I read a book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. My professor made me read that. So, like I’m saying, there’s a lot of people that come into your life that kind of, and you never know when it is, it just happens. And so, after I read that, I started- my habits changed, and I became a better student.
Neil Dudley: What do you think made you willing to let that be a reality, that, oh, I need to change? At that age, most everybody, or at least I thought I knew everything. So, do you have any guess what that was, why you were able to say yeah, actually I don’t know it all, I’m going to change?
Jake Escobar: I started setting goals for myself of where I wanted to be, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do for my family in the future. And I knew if I wanted to have a good family and support my family, that I was going to have to be a better student and I was going to have to change my habits. And you’re right, you think you know it all, but you really don’t know much once reality hits you in the face.
Neil Dudley: Totally, and listen, for everybody out there in the business world that’s listening, if you ever think you’re not a student, you’re in bad trouble. I’m a student. That’s why I’m talking to Jake right now. I’m learning from what he’s talking about. And it makes me think about my perspective and what I think, and audit that. Is my perspective and my thought process good? Because it probably isn’t, it probably needs improvement.
Jake Escobar: Yes, sir. You’re right. And I think like as coaches, we try to study. I study a lot about our strength conditioning program because I think that’s important for everything we do, just become better athletes. I study really the mental aspect, how to get kids to buy into our program, and I talk to tons of coaches and that’s why social media is so good because there’s a lot of coaches on there that you link up with-
Neil Dudley: Who do you watch a lot? Do you have a coach or two that you spend a lot of time-?
Jake Escobar: Coach Jackson, I think he’s at a North Forney. He’s at North Forney. He is a guy that-
Neil Dudley: Is that a high school?
Jake Escobar: Yes, that’s a high school.
Neil Dudley: That’s cool. See, I was guessing you’re going to say Saban or something like that.
Jake Escobar: No, and I like Saban, but I try to stay with people that have the same kind of level, high school level, but Nick Saban does do some great things. I mean, he’s a mental toughness guy.
Neil Dudley: Yeah. Well, see, Dabo Swinney comes to mind. I’m just thinking of a couple of guys, anyways.
Jake Escobar: See, Dabo Swinney to me is a character builder. Like he works on building character. To me, that’s important. So, he’s got that. And then Nick Saban spends a lot of time on mental toughness, how to do things, play the next play, forget about that last play, things like that.
Neil Dudley: Just from a guy that’s not even in the profession – I can’t even talk – in the profession, I watch those guys and I’m like, man, Saban just makes robots, but they win, like always. And then I look at Swinney and I’m like I feel like those guys I would want to hire. I don’t know if I want to go hire the guys from Alabama. And that’s just personality differences. I don’t under- Saban could be here in front of me now and get pretty heated, like no, man, you don’t know what you’re talking about. But you got to think everybody’s watching you and taking it into their own perspective and thinking about it, like some people are watching me and thinking he’s an idiot, he thinks he’s a super special man, whatever. I can’t control what they think, I can only think about- And that’s good for you kiddos too. You’re going to get bullied. You’re going to get picked on. You’re going to get thought of in a million ways, and it hurts. Nobody wants to– like humans love that interaction with the group. So that hurts. I just want to tell you it’s going to happen for your whole life. You need to build self-esteem and pride in what you’re capable of and what you enjoy and what you can do and hold onto that.
Jake Escobar: Amen. I think that- and that’s a mental- There are things that I’ve always believed that a great athletic program can build, the emotional aspect of a young person, the social skills, the academic aspect of it, and the mental aspect of it. I think if you have a program that does that, you have a great program. And like I told the kids the other day, I don’t care how many games we win, if we don’t know how to treat people the right way, it really doesn’t matter. Because they’re going to forget that, but they’re going to remember how you treated them.
Neil Dudley: Absolutely. Now, see, and I chase rabbits in this, like my brain is just totally on this thought right now – you’re brave because people judge you on wins. And you’re saying right now, I really don’t care if we win or not, we’re going to try to win, but we’re going to live a good life, we’re going to learn important things. And guess what? I will bet money if you do those things right, you win. Because win is the result of all the other things. It is not the thing.
Jake Escobar: It is a byproduct of all those things. And I think being a good kid, being a good person, being a great student are all byproducts of winning. And ultimately that’s the type of culture we want to have. And some people don’t understand the culture aspect of it because there’s a lot of things that involve in a culture. And to me, that’s where it starts. That’s the foundation. If you can teach kids to do the right things and do things when no one’s looking and build character, it’s going to change. Like this morning, so we have open weight room this morning. Well, Colton Roberts says, Coach, you have a lot more kids. There weren’t this many before. So, kids are slowly starting to buy into it. I think it’s because-
Neil Dudley: Do you worry about that being just a new thing, like a newness thing?
Jake Escobar: I don’t because that’s my responsibility to make sure I keep it new all the time. And it’s the energy level. I think that’s why I think you hire people that have great energy. And I was telling someone this morning, one of the coaches, I said I just look at people and I want to make sure they have high energy, enthusiasm, and they care about kids. If they have that, we’re going to overcome the obstacles we’re going to face because there’s going to be some obstacles along the way. And I think the kids will buy into that. Because kids want to come in and they want to be fired up because they don’t come in fired up all the time.
Neil Dudley: Well, they’ve got life happening to them in a million ways. Like my mom and dad were not happy with each other that morning, grandma just passed away. I mean, a kid has a lot of- I just got bullied or my girlfriend, this girl that I think is the most beautiful thing that’s ever going to grace the- It is like, kids, look, you’re going to meet a lot more people in your life. I ended up marrying a girl from Comanche that is the best ever. But that’s just one example. I mean, Jake went and found a girl from totally somewhere else. Just you go, you have so much more in front of you. You’ve got- I totally understand falling in love in high school and those kinds of things. Just you got to be real careful about letting that derail you into some kind of major depression, or this is so sad, I’ll never get over it. And I think that’s where parents play a huge role. Coaches play a huge role. You get a chance to tell that kid, man, you seem a little off- lady, these girls. I mean, we got a chance to build a great girls’ program. I think you’re probably focused on that too. I mean, watching that, a lot of people would kind of- I don’t know, just football rules Texas, but there’s a lot more out there to do and a lot more things we can be good at.
Jake Escobar: No doubt. And I’ve had- like today I had three girls show up for the early morning workouts. And I told them if you want to show up, we’ll put you in a group and you can work out with us. I don’t mind that, I encourage that because really would talk about Roll Tribe. That’s not just a football thing, that’s a culture thing, and our athletic program, that’s what it’s about.
Neil Dudley: Yeah. I think you build that culture there, it spills off into the classroom. It spills off into the band program. I think our band program’s built a good culture that spills off into the athletic program. If you build that big culture as a group, it can spill off into everything you do and be advantageous.
Jake Escobar: And that’s the thing about it. I always believe that every program in the school district has a way of uniting a community, whether it’s the band, like you’re talking about, whether it’s our academic or academic events, things like that. And I think those are important, and along with athletics. Everyone has a little piece that’s going to bring someone in from outside. And I think that’s our responsibility. And that’s why I had my doubts, I’ll be honest with you and we talked about this.
Neil Dudley: Oh, sure. Well, I mean, I think this is insight for this, whoever listens to this podcast, and I am guessing it gets shared hugely within this community just because people are going to– they’re so interested in you. A lot of them already know you. Anyways, I’m derailing you. What were you going to say?
Jake Escobar: I was just going to say I was worried about coming back home. There’s no doubt about it, because I’ve been here before and I’ve known how things work and things like that, just, and people know me. People are going to feel free to call me. But I’ve learned along the way that you have to take care of your program the way you see fit, because it’s all going to be a reflection of you, of every program. And I try to empower our coaches to run their programs however they see fit. As long as they’re taking care of kids and doing things the right way, I’m okay with that. But I was really nervous about it. And you and I, in that interview, we talked about this. I had to really go spend time with my wife and talk about it, and we prayed a lot about it because I was at a great place and they treated me great, they treated my wife great. They loved her. And I always have to think about her because she’s a trooper. She’s the one that’s got to go pick up and leave after she builds great relationships.
Neil Dudley: Coaches wives are the most, I don’t know, they need to have a huge halo over their head 24/7 because they live a life that’s very tough. Like I get criticized in my business, but guess what? My wife doesn’t have to sit there and hear it all the time. Those coaches’ wives have to sit right in the stands, hear all the snarky comments and deal with that. And I so much look up to them for having that ability and capability and willingness to, I guess you just take that abuse.
Jake Escobar: I mean, my wife’s gotten better at it. She’s gotten so good at it that now she critiques me and she criticizes me about why are you calling that play, things like that, but it’s always going to be, she’s not ever going to do it in front of anyone, but when I get home, I hear it. And she’s, you have to have thick skin to be in this business. And I tell people all the time, when you get into it, you know what lies ahead. And you’re going to get let go sometimes, you’re going to get- and that’s just part of it. And the family understands- my wife understands that, and she’s always said whatever you want to do, we’ll do it. Because I’m a coach’s wife and that’s part of the process. And I think that is real hard on them, more than anything else. But I mean, it was tough. She left and they threw a party for her, and they do- nobody threw a party for me, but they threw a party for her. So, I know it was tough on her, but I’m glad I’m here. But when I got here and I got around the kids, it felt so good. And yesterday I wasn’t here, I had to go pick up the last load that we got so I didn’t get to see the kids, and it bothered me all day. So, I kept texting the coaches how’d it go, how’d it go, because that’s the reason we do it. I mean, ultimately, I’m glad I came home because I feel like there’s- I want to give back to this community so much and to our kids. But the reason we do it is for the kids. They make me feel young sometimes, and I think that’s the biggest- I just felt really lost yesterday not seeing kids work out, not seeing kids get after it, and being able to push them. So that’s ultimately, when we got here, it just took me a couple of days to kind of settle in and now it’s like I love getting up every morning.
Neil Dudley: It’s kind of like putting on an old glove, it’s like, man, I feel- I know this place. I was wondering, so we’ve talked a little bit or danced around culture and leadership and that kind of thing. What’s your idea of leadership? Or what do you think leadership is? And don’t talk- So now we’re off the kids’ topic. Let’s forget about leading kids. Let’s talk about leading peers. So, what do you think about that? How does that work? Because I think this parallels to business, anything, look, you’re going to have peers or people you work with that maybe you’re in charge of. Talk about that a little bit.
Jake Escobar: I always believe that being a leader, you have to serve others. I think that’s the most important thing. And when you have peers that you have to lead, I think the most important thing is empowering them to be able to reach their full potential. I always try to have a program, and I’ve talked to our coaches about this, we come up with our mission statement. We do. Not Coach Escobar, we do. We come up with our core values, what we hang our hat on and they’re coming to come up with this and everybody’s going to have an input in our vision, our goals, I think that are important in order for you to build a culture. And if they don’t feel empowered, then they’re not going to do everything they can for the program. And they’re just going to be well, it is just me, they don’t feel part of it, and that’s my responsibility. And I think as a leader, I’ve always believed this – great leaders help others reach their full potential.
Neil Dudley: I would say you’ve had a little bit of leadership quality about you your whole life, even in sports. Like that was one of the things I looked up to, being the point guard of the basketball team. When Jake wasn’t on the court, things were a little bit out of sorts because everybody knew they could look to you for that leadership. And just real quick, I got to touch back on this, everybody, this is a Michael Jordan story. Jake didn’t play in seventh and eighth grade and turned out to be the hero of the team, at least a huge part of a real winning team. So, kids, just stay with it, work hard, keep competing. We need you to do that. And I’m not just talking about sports. I’m talking about studies, band, anything you want to be good at, you may not be there day one. See, I was terrible about that. I thought the second I tried anything I should be the best. I’m like I should be the best. And that really derailed me in a lot of ways. And I can’t go change it now. So, I’m hoping maybe I can say that to somebody listening and they got a chance to change it. You won’t be as good as you can be the first time, or you’re not even going to have a chance of being better than the best the first time you try it. You just have to work and go after it, every day try to do a little bit more than the other guy.
Jake Escobar: I tell the kids this, without failure, there’s no growth. And I video kids when they’re trying out, and I don’t mind seeing them fail. And I think that’s great because it gives them something to strive- I want to see how they react when they fail. I think that tells you a lot about a person. Are they going to come back or are they going to make excuses or are they going to drop their head? Or are they just going to keep going forward? And then I think we learn a lot from kids, and that’s why like today we’re doing competition on Friday, and last week I had a kid, and he just was upset because they lost. And I asked him, I said do you think we’re going to win every game? No, sir. Okay so are you going to react every time this way, every time something goes wrong? Or are you going to say, hey guys, let’s go, we’re going to be all right, let’s go, let’s keep working? That’s why we do this. So, I can see you in this and see how you react so I can help you and understand that it’s going to be okay. I’m going to love you no matter what. Whether we win or we lose, I’m going to love you.
Neil Dudley: And even more importantly, you got to love you. You got to be proud of the effort you put in. Cause when you don’t win anything, you could even break it down smaller to every play. Do you think you will win every play? You think you’ll win every match up every time? Oh man, nobody has ever done that. Maybe Jesus. Nobody else has every single time won. I even have a question here, like do you have an example of a failure that you learned so much about and it turned out to be one of those things that’s so valuable? And I like that- there is no such thing as failure until you quit. And as long as you just don’t quit, you’ve never failed. You’ve just had a chance to learn something.
Jake Escobar: That’s right. I’ve had a lot of failures and I told you this, you can ask my wife, and I tell the kids all the time, I fail all the time. If you ask my wife, on a daily basis. But a big thing for me because I base my life around kids, and that’s just natural for me and the kids I coach. So, when I first got into coaching, I guess it was my fifth year, and I was at Midland Lee or it was my seventh year and I was at Midland Lee, and I had a kid that didn’t have a very good home life. And I don’t know what happened, he got in trouble in school. So, I made him come after school and we did some extra, and he didn’t want to do it. And I just kept on him, kept on him. Eventually he ended up quitting. And I really think I failed that kid that moment. And it changed my life because I changed how I coach kids. And I became- I started to learn who they were because I didn’t know what was going on outside of that area at that time. And I wished I would have known, and I wished I would’ve asked, hey, what’s going on? Let’s talk about it. And to me, I’ve always based my failures over things like that. Just to me, that’s something I wish I could have changed because I don’t know where that kid’s at now. I don’t know what happened. He never came back, but we could have been the difference to help him.
Neil Dudley: And you don’t know, that little thing may have played out well. You know, later in his life he’s like, man, Coach Escobar, that was just what I needed, I just couldn’t see it. So, I think for leaders in companies, leaders in business, other coaches that might be listening, even leaders inside teams at Comanche ISD, you got to think about you got to spend a little time showing these people you care about them and learning about them. And yeah, maybe you don’t have a lot of free time. I know in business, that’s a challenge for me to spend the time learning, oh, this is Susie who cleans our floors and guess what, she’s got a sick grandma at home so that’s why she’s working extra hours. If you can learn those things and connect with people on those levels, it plays to that culture you want to build and also that servant leadership. I’d say everybody go check out, just go Google servant leadership and start learning about that.
Jake Escobar: John Maxwell is a great author.
Neil Dudley: Jake touched on it just a second there, but it’s really a good way of thinking about leading people. I have this little thing that pops up on my phone every day, serve others. 8:00 AM, I see that every day. And I don’t, can’t say I consciously am just on it 24/7, but it’s just a reminder daily for me. If I want to be- to get where I want to go, that’s the number one key. And that counts for my wife, my kids, my parents, everybody, you. And serving others isn’t just making sure they’re happy, it’s doing things for them that can help them be who they are capable of being. But anyways, there you go. So yeah. Look there, Neil’s got some philosophy, Cowboy Perspective philosophy episode.
Jake Escobar: That’s great. That’s good. And I agree with you a hundred percent. I think that’s a big thing is serving others. I think that’s what everyone should do. Just imagine if everyone served others, everyone. It would be a better place to live.
Neil Dudley: Absolutely. Come on, let’s hit some more of these questions. What’s the biggest challenge in your profession?
Jake Escobar: The biggest challenge in our profession right now is I think after all this, the pandemic, is making sure our kids are getting back involved in extracurricular activities. When here, I haven’t seen a big swing, but where I was at, it was really real cautious. And I think we lost a lot of kids, and they didn’t do anything for a year. And getting them back out I think is very big, just not only to participant, but for health issues, social skills. I think a lot of kids lost their social skills during that time. And I think those are important in order to succeed. I’ve always believed that coaching is, and I learned this from Spike Dykes. I don’t know if you know Spike Dykes.
Neil Dudley: Yeah, I’m a Red Raiders graduate, right here. And Dykes was coaching when I was there so I remember him.
Jake Escobar: That’s how old we are. Yeah, I wish you wouldn’t have said that. But we got Spike Dykes, he always said coaching is relationships, communicating, and serving. So, I’ve tried to live by those. And I went to his funeral back in, he passed away, I want to say it was 2006, maybe because I was at Odessa Permian and we went to the funeral because Coach Almond had played for Spike Dykes, and we went and he had all of us go and they talked about him. And that was one of the things he talked about, they said that was his three core values that he taught. And so, to me, that’s what I’ve always thought that’s important and the relationships and the communication and that aspect.
Neil Dudley: So, two of those come real easy to me. But communication is not as easy. Do you agree with that? Do you think people, just based on their personalities, find those things different, one’s hard? Communication is just taking the time to say this is how I feel about what you’re doing, and sometimes I’m too much hurry, hurry, hurry so I don’t spend that, slow down enough to do the communication, but you got to have all three. I think I can build relationships great. I think I can serve others great. That’s on me, that’s not on them. Communication is a two-way street. That means you’ve got to take some back.
Jake Escobar: Yeah, I agree. I mean, communication is always going to be a little more difficult because you got to have, sometimes you got to have some hard conversations with people, but it’s important to keep that communication active and open. If not, then I think your culture-
Neil Dudley: That’s right, those three things have to be standing strong.
Jake Escobar: That’s right. And you’re right, it is a little, sometimes a little harder. And kind of like we’ve talked about before, coach, you like to communicate and have that open door, but I think that’s important because I want you, say you have a son or daughter, and you do, I know you do, but they’re in our athletic program. Well, there’s an issue that came up. I might not agree. You might come talk to me – hey Coach, I’m going to come talk to you. Okay, come visit with me. Well, I’m not very happy. I’m not very happy a lot of times either. So come on in, sit down and let’s talk. I’ll let you get it off your chest. Now I might not agree with what you say, but I’ll let you communicate to me what you felt. And I wanted you to understand, by the time you leave there, I hope you understand that we care about your kid. We’re going to do what’s best for our program. We have a lot of the kids too, but I want you to understand that. I think the communication is very important because you got to trust me that I’m looking out for the best interest-
Neil Dudley: And don’t you think in our world today it would be so refreshing if we could disagree on things. We don’t agree on everything, but that doesn’t mean I hate you or I think you’re worthless. It’s just we don’t agree. I mean, it’s just, we can’t even help that we don’t agree because we’re too, we’re just from two different positions, two different raisings, two different perspectives, all those things, two different current situations in life.
Jake Escobar: That’s right. And that’s important to understand that. We’re going to disagree and you’re not going to agree with what I do. And I understand that. And not every place I’ve been, even where I was at, was good to me. There were some people that didn’t agree with what I did, and I understand that. And you don’t have to agree. You just have to understand that I’m looking out for the best interest of your kids.
Neil Dudley: What’s it like being a hero? It seems to me every time I want to say that about you, you’re kind of like rolling your eyes.
Jake Escobar: I don’t feel like a hero.
Neil Dudley: Why would you not just own that?
Jake Escobar: I feel like a regular guy. I think I was a- and I’ve told you this before, I was a product of a great community. I was a product of great people that were there at the right time at the right moment. And I got lucky. I don’t consider myself a hero at all. There’s a lot more heroes out there-
Neil Dudley: Well, I challenge you this, you need to own that a little bit more because you are, and you will be, you will be to a lot of people. And you just have to kind of let that be. To me, it’s a big burden. I mean, it’s the, I just say, let that be, like I love your humbleness. Humbleness is a huge thing in a leader, I think. Look, I’m no hero. Well, you are a little bit, so I just say think about that a little bit.
Jake Escobar: I think we all are. I think we can all be heroes to someone. I mean, whether it’s-
Neil Dudley: So, there’s some responsibility in that. Own it and take it- own it and allow it to be part of the thing God gifted you with – hey, you got an opportunity to really influence somebody, and that’s actually a great thing.
Jake Escobar: Yes sir, there is no doubt. And it’s not always easy. And we tell the kids this all the time, it’s hard being a leader. It is.
Neil Dudley: I mean, it’s lonely at the top, folks, that’s the truth.
Jake Escobar: That’s right, it’s lonely at the top. And I tell our kids, sometimes it’s not- people don’t think it’s a cool thing. Well, we’re going to make it a cool thing. We’re going to make being a leader and doing the right things and being uncommon a cool thing. Cause we’re going to make it part of who we are and that’s the way it should be. There should be a standard to be part of our athletic program in our community. And we should live up to that.
Neil Dudley: And listen kids, if just a couple of you will get out there and run as hard as you can every time, even when everybody else is saying no, just take it easy a little bit. Jason was great for us. Our track team probably was great because Jason Pate would never take one second off. He would never take one second off and I wanted to just stay with him. And I wouldn’t allow him, so I didn’t take a second off. So, then Dennis wouldn’t take a second off and then Bruton, if he’s listening to this, everybody knows Brian Bruton was not a quarter mile runner, he was a sprinter, but he got put on the team and I can’t tell you how many times we’re running and he’s beside us saying, guys, slow down, why are we going so hard? But he didn’t have a choice at that point. He just was in our wake and had to go. And guess what? He made a great quarter miler. So, kids, you can bring your team along by just going hard. Pete Rose, man. I mean, like you can just look out into the world and see people that never took a second off, man. When they’re out there, they are going.
Jake Escobar: Have you watched that Michael Jordan, The Last Dance? And the greatest thing he says is leadership has a price. Winning has a price. That’s one of the things that is hard sometimes for us to understand that. And you’re right, there’s going to be kids that say, don’t go- but that’s not the standard we want to be. We want to be the best we can be on a daily basis. Get 1% better every day, whether it’s in the weight room, whether it’s in the classroom, whether it’s just as a human being, be 1% better than you than you are. And you’re going to become the best person you can be eventually.
Neil Dudley: So, I was listening to this other podcast, and it had a billion businessman on there. And he says I call it information sponging. Like I want to learn one thing today that I don’t need to know for any other reason other than I just need to learn a new thing. So, I see a big picture of all the what’s happening around me. Thought that was great. I think, think about, you said 1%, it could be 1% information sponging, just find that one thing out there you can learn totally different that’s not exactly what you do every day.
Jake Escobar: Going back to Jason Pate running, things like that, so I get up, we get up there and we open up, there’s some kids coming in at 5:00 AM, come lift. So, I get up there, open the weight room, and I’m walking around the track, trying to lose some weight. The pandemic killed me.
Neil Dudley: I think that’s a great- coaches that are in shape I think get a little more credibility with the kids. Like I would give them more credibility as a kid.
Jake Escobar: This morning I was pumping iron with the kids, and I want them to see I still work out. So I’m kind of jogging around the track. Well, Jason Pate’s out there, it’s about 5:15 AM, it is dark. And whoosh, going around, and I’m like, dang. Well, I twist my ankle on the curve. Well, nobody could see me because it’s dark. Well, I pop up. So, I get up and I’m like, ah, my ankle hurts, but I see Jason coming. So, I’m like, okay, I can’t stop. You cannot let him know you’re hurt. I’m not stopping. If I stop- And so he starts laughing at me, just whoosh, and I’m like, man, Jason, you run like you did when you were in high school. And I was like- So he just kept me going, and I was hurting so bad, but I told myself do not stop. Do not.
Neil Dudley: Sometimes I just need that guy to chase. And sometimes they’re just needing me to chase. Like sometimes you’re the guy that’s providing that chase for the other guy. I think it’s very valuable for everybody to just think about that. And in anything, anything you’re doing, I don’t care if it’s you’re leading a church, if you’re leading a business, if you’re a part of the church, if you’re a part of the business, you all have that role to play.
Jake Escobar: And I think that’s important, you talk about chasing. I think you have to keep chasing that standard. You’re never going to reach it. If you’re really- there’s no finish line. You’re never- if you think you’ve made it to the top, someone’s going to knock you down and humble you a little bit, and life’s going to do that to you. So, I think you have to have that mentality, that keep chasing mentality. And that’s a great point. Whether it’s someone or something that you have set for yourself.
Neil Dudley: Sure, it is loving the process, right? I mean, you can, I don’t know. I’m always just this outsider watching others. So, I watch Belichik, Brady. It’s almost like they’re kind of disappointed every time they win a super bowl because the thing they love the most is the chase of it. It’s like, oh, okay, good, let’s go back to the chase because this trophy is not really even the thing that I love the most.
Jake Escobar: That’s right. And I think that’s important. Throughout the process, you’re going to become who you are if you do it the right way.
Neil Dudley: Okay so, for all the business people, here’s a coach, athletic director, we got to find out what’s the value of a dollar or a bitcoin to you?
Jake Escobar: The value of a dollar, it used to be two soda pops, back in the day.
Neil Dudley: This is the question every guest gets, so you don’t get to avoid it. But I’m just curious, at the end of the day, money and finances are a part of everybody’s life, your life, my life, these kids’ lives. Some of them are struggling. Some of them don’t even understand it. So, I was just curious. I like to ask that question.
Jake Escobar: The value of a dollar, that’s what really, I mean, as a young kid, that’s what- because kids work because they want to make money. And when I quit and I went to work for Kenneth, I was making money and that’s what I wanted. Little did I know, that was not going to affect me later on, that I had a chance to probably make a little bit more money if I went to school, but it’s not the end of all ends. That’s not where you want to be, because there’s more to it than that. And Bitcoin, I don’t even know that cryptocurrency or whatever it is. And I think the value of a dollar is really the value of who you are is more important than that dollar because we spend money on everything. It doesn’t matter how much you make, you’re going to spend it. So, I think how you spend it is more important than what you get.
Neil Dudley: Totally. I love that perspective, that thought. I think about a dollar as it shows my hard work. It’s kind of proof that I did something of value. And this question really just comes from my family and my granddad coming up through the Depression when there wasn’t a dollar, like it was just really valuable to him. I mean, he wrote letters to us as kids, how important education was, how important learning the value of a dollar was. Like, ooh, that dollar, actually, I could use it to make $2. Cool, now I’ve got $2, I can use those to make $4. And I think we miss a little bit of that because look, maybe we have the next offensive lineman in the NFL that’s going to get a million-dollar contract. And I would love for them to leave our community and understand, oh, that’s how money works. That’s how- I’m not going to just blow all this on a yacht to go sail, it’s off season.
Jake Escobar: I agree. Like my dad, for example, my dad, he’s always worked in dairies and things like that, and he’s worked hard, and I make more than my dad ever made. And he worked, he busted his tail for me to do this. The value of a dollar to him means a lot. It means blue collar to him. And I think about that, because he’s worked- he gets up at five, goes to work, doesn’t get home. There were times he couldn’t take me to practice because he was still working, and he was doing that to help me get a better life. And that dollar went a long way for him. And that’s what, when I tell him, he asked me when I first started, what are you making? And I told him, early in my career, and he is like I’ve been working hard for 30 years, and I don’t even make that much. So, the value means a lot more to him at that time. And then as you get older, you understand that. And right now you don’t as a kid probably, but one day when you realize how hard your parents work, that value goes a long- that dollar goes a long ways.
Neil Dudley: They sacrificed for that. Like I’m so proud of your dad to be able to hear that. And then like I’m competitive, and if my kids end up doing bigger things than me, yay, I’m super happy for them, but there’s this little piece of me that’s like dang, they kicked my butt, and I didn’t like that. But maybe part of being a parent is not the same. You really just want the best for them, and that wouldn’t be an issue for me, but I’m proud of your dad for being able to just be like, man, cool, great, wow, I’m slaving away at these dairies, helping these dairyman make money and I’m just, now you’re doing a thing- So he doesn’t just totally melt down about that. That’s pretty cool.
Jake Escobar: And he appreciates what he’s- and I look at him and say that’s my hero because he’s earned it. Whatever he has, he’s earned. And to me that says a lot about him, and that makes me proud. So, and it is, the dollar, the value is blue collar, man. I mean, I think that’s important, especially in communities like this.
Neil Dudley: That’s what that getting up at 5:00 AM everybody’s doing to go in there and workout and do like- this was the problem I had with weightlifting, you didn’t see it the next day. Like I’m so impatient or certainly as a kid, I was so impatient. See, and I’m watching Kade Baum. Like if you could see a picture of him a year ago, two years ago, man, he’s metamora- I don’t even know the word, but he’s changed so much. Like he’s just a really stout looking kid. And it just takes every day 5:00 AM, go do it. Don’t expect- He probably doesn’t even see it because nobody’s showing him that picture. My brother’s an example. His freshman year, man, he was skinny. Senior year, he is built. I mean, we’re using guys, but girls are the same thing. I mean, whatever they’re after, it’s just put that every day little bit of time on it and you just will be so amazed before you end up getting- And I was impatient.
Jake Escobar: I think that’s nowadays, that’s our society. They want a quick satisfaction, want it to happen now. I’m working my tail off today, I expect to be great tomorrow. Well, and I think that’s just society. That’s the way it’s to happen because it’s a get rich quick mentality, the lottery, the things like that. I mean, there’s opportunities there to get rich quick. Bitcoin, get Bitcoin, things like that. And I think that’s kind of evolved that way. And I think the process is sometimes forgotten. And that’s what I love about kids, that’s what I love about coaching, because I love to see kids that aren’t very big or aren’t very good when they’re young and then they develop into something great. I have a young man that this past year he played football, and I always tell our coaches don’t ever judge a kid when he’s little, when he’s young, you give him every opportunity to kind of grow into who they’re going to be. You better play them when they’re on freshmen or on JV. They better play because I want to see them play. And there was a kid that wasn’t going to play. And so, I told the coach get his butt in the game. That kid’s here every day, he shows up every day. I’m not going to have to worry, we’re not going to have to worry about his grades. He’s going to do everything he can. He’s going to do right in our community, things like that. Those are the type of kids we build our program around and then kids will follow that. Well, anyway, that kid ended up coming, becoming pretty good at the end of the year. He started playing a little bit more, and we just had to give him that little opportunity and let him know that we believed in him. And then he started developing. And then he ran track, ran a quarter, and he never ran a quarter, won JV, district champion. And I was like fired up for him. And then, well, he kind of started feeling good about himself, showing up every day in the weight room, started changing. I think little things like that go a long way. And I think he bought into the process, even though he didn’t see it early on, he eventually realized, you know what, this is working out for me. And that’s hard to find. I think that’s hard to find, but it’s our job to make sure we help kids understand that, that you’re not as good right now and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to be very good in the next couple years. I always feel like that’s our job as coaches.
Neil Dudley: I would say to kids listening or anybody listening, some of the most successful people I know, Jake, Jason, were kind of bench- you rode the bench in seventh and eighth grade, and then they were just the hosses by the time they got up to senior year. So, man. And if you’re the hoss now in seventh and eighth grade, you better work your tail off because they are coming for you.
Jake Escobar: That’s right. When I went to college, you get humbled real quick because those guys are good and they come from Houston, they play- they were in Dallas, they played better talent. So, it took me a while to get used to it. And I got humbled real quick. But I would play a guy every day, he was from Dallas. I would play him every day and he would beat me every day one-on-one. I never beat him. But I would come back and play him every day hoping that today was the day. And then finally he just, I mean, he was just really good. I mean, he was a lot better than me. There’s no doubt about it. It was a rude awakening, not I thought I was the best at that time. I just kept going, and you know what? And then I came to play in open gym here and I was jumping a little bit higher. I was moving a little bit quicker, and I remember my uncle Juan Escobar, there was a crew – Kenneth, Juan, Charles Williams, Robert Williams, Daylen West, rest in peace, Mr. Spence, there was guys like that. Well, I remember Juan saying, man, you jump a little bit higher. Your jump shots are a little bit higher, your are a little quicker. Because I played that guy every day, he made me better and I never thought to myself, I’m not going to go play him today. In my mind, I was like I’m going to go play him today and today’s going to be the day, and it never happened, but I got better.
Neil Dudley: Well and then, I don’t know, it just makes me think too be coachable. Hey, be coachable. Great athletes in Comanche, I’ve seen several of them go to a D1 school or even a JuCo or any program outside of this, and then they come back quick. I’m like dang, that’s so sad. And most of the time it’s because they get humbled – uh-oh, I’m not the big dog anymore. Uh-oh, they’re not coachable, I don’t want to have to do that work with these coaches or I don’t want to have to change my diet. Listen, be coachable, folks. That’s in business. I have to be coachable. I have thoughts about how I want to run this business, and then people within the business have to coach me on, actually, you’re going to take us down a bad deal if we do that. So, and I have to allow that.
Jake Escobar: Yes, sir. And if you get married, you have to be coachable. I’m telling you, you better be coachable.
Neil Dudley: And that goes both ways. The women, it’s a relationship. Those three pillars, staying well in a marriage too, in a relationship – communication, serve.
Jake Escobar: Amen. There’s no doubt about that.
Neil Dudley: Instead of I have to do this for my wife, I get to do this because I love her and I get to do it for her.
Jake Escobar: That’s a great mentality to have.
Neil Dudley: It’s hard to- and listen, that doesn’t come easy. I’m talking about it like, oh yeah, just do that. It’s not that easy. It’s work. Like that old statement, anything worth having isn’t easy, is so true. If you think it’s going to be easy, I’m just here to tell you, man, you’ve got really- and ladies, it ain’t going to be that way. And if it is, you’re probably not going to have much. And with that, I can’t take any more of your time. You’ve got a lot of stuff going. And I just want to say thanks for coming on the show. Everybody listening, thanks for listening to the Cowboy Perspective. And I hope there’s some conversation here that you can listen to or tell somebody to listen to that might just help them think about things in a different way. Think about, hey, these are a couple of guys that care about me. I just love humans. I love you. If you’re listening, I do love you. I might not even know you, but I care about your happiness. I want you to be able to have that. So, listen to what we said. If it works for you, use it. If it doesn’t, don’t. I mean, you got to find what works for you. That’s it for the Cowboy Perspective with mister Coach Jake Escobar.
There you have it, folks, from the man himself. Jake, thank you so much for being on the show. I keep calling you by your first name. It probably would be more correct to say Coach Escobar, but everybody’s just going to have to forgive me on that. I’m not going to rerecord everything and think real hard about saying Coach Escobar. Coach Escobar, thanks for being on the Cowboy Perspective. Thanks for giving us all a good understanding of how you think about things. Everybody, if you enjoyed this episode, if you found value in it, share it, tell a friend, let somebody else know about the Cowboy Perspective. Go listen to some other episodes that we’ve been putting out over the last 50 episodes. It’s kind of crazy. It was fun for me to realize, look up and say, wow, 50 episodes. That’s a little bit of work that’s been done there, so progress. You know the thing, do the thing, go subscribe and follow. Look me up on Instagram. And this is how I want to close the episode. Come on now, folks, it is going to be Friday Night Lights, Comanche, Texas. We’ll see you there.
The Cowboy Perspective is produced by Neil Dudley and Straight Up Podcasts. Graphics are done by Root & Roam Creative Studio. And the music is by Byron Hill Music.
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